Clever Things to do With Chinese Junk Bars (Besides throw them out)!

WhelenNDealin

Member
Aug 6, 2017
575
Ontario, Canada
OK, so if you were unlucky enough to have a Chinese junk bar in your possession and had to find some other use for them, besides paperweights or throwing them out, what would you do?

Me personally, I'd use a full-sized one to make a small table to put plants on or use to serve coffee or drinks to guests. I'm actually in the process of doing this with some "Voltex" junk bar that a whacker gave me for free. I'm still kicking myself for accepting it because I always remembered it being an Arjent. When he brought it, at a distance, it looked a bit like an Arjent. As I got closer, it started to look like a Justice, so I was still happy. As I got close, it looked like, well as another eLB member put it: "a toy". It's the only LED bar where you can look directly at the takedowns, if you even want to call them that, at a close range and not even see spots. I have to give the Chinese credit for making a bar that looks like a mashup of a few Whelen and Fed Sig designs and that will look like a different legit bar depending on the distance and angle you see it from.

So, now I'm in the process of turning it into a nice table! Still being designed, but I'm likely just going to put some of my beloved houseplants on it. Maybe use it as a conversation piece. Might put some casters on the legs and use it as a mobile bar/coffee service. It's dim enough where if I lit it up, it'd grab guests' attention that coffee and/or liquor is on the way! It also has 18 cool patterns, perfect for all of my plant-holding or coffee/drink serving needs!

So, besides throwing it out or destroying it, what would you do with a Chinese junk bar?
 
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WhelenNDealin

Member
Aug 6, 2017
575
Ontario, Canada
Lol turn it into a party table leave the lights and make it a party table haha then sell it to stupid college kids as a rare one off piece

That's a bloody brilliant idea! Make a few bucks off of this piece of junk. Some frat house would buy it in a heartbeat for a Jello shots cart. Their parents' money will be put to good use!

I think that $350 will suffice. I'll tell them that I took it off of some sort of municipal vehicle for added "cool" value. Remember, to fraternity types stolen = cool! The only problem is that they'd never figure out how to turn the piece of junk on. For added fun (read: hilarity), I could show them how to wire it to a battery. Knowing frat boys, at least five of them will get zapped and at least one, no, 10 of them will try to zap each other's nether regions in a drunken stupor. Oh those wacky fraternities!

Given the bar's SUPER STURDY construction, it'll last about five minutes at the average kegger. My money's on some idiot jumping through it. I'd also bet on someone trying to ride it down some stairs. Odds are also good on it being raced down the street with some drunk idiot on it and crashing into a parked car/tree/fire hydrant/anything.

If not destroyed outright, the table will also double as a flashing gurney for any college binge drinking casualties.

Now taking bets on how this party table will be destroyed by dumb university kids...
 
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