For Sale JazzDad (the name)

JazzDad

Just Another Faceless Member
Silver Supporter
It appears I will be retiring around the middle of March. Who would like to bid on my user name?

Statistics: Joined the forum on 05AUG11, current "likes" 2,286, current posts 4,782. I also still have some unused photos for the 'longest thread'.
 

Sparky_911

Member
Gold Supporter
Who's gonna keep the "users fail.....longest thread" alive? Granted....the pics were awful but still.....
 

Jarred J.

Archive Expert
Silver Supporter
Aren't you like 20 something lol give me $1000 and half your likes then I'll take over your id ( I need to get my like count close to 1/50 vs the 1/ 100 I have now!)
 
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JazzDad

JazzDad

Just Another Faceless Member
Silver Supporter
Amended: Probably the end of March (maybe beginning of April).

I just headed up the revamping of my department's SOPs - waiting on approval for putting them into effect. Then it's bye-bye to the ol' Jazz.
 

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
No! No! NO! This is surely some sick ruse that only someone as nefarious as @JazzDad could conjure up. I'll bid, but purely to keep your legacy of...what you do alive. I'll only bid if I get a copy of that album that your band put out in the late 70s.

eLB after JazzDad's retirement:

 

Pete L.

Silver Supporter
Jazz, what will the girls in the office do now ??

( I know I'm going to regret asking that ;) )
 

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
Jazz, what will the girls in the office do now ??

( I know I'm going to regret asking that ;) )
Probably breathe a collective sigh of relief.

They won't be subjected to seeing the endless stream of oddball photos that Jazz (and we) find funny anymore. They'll be relieved in many ways, but feel an emptiness as well. If The Jazz is remotely what he's like in person as he is on the forums, the office will turn their heads, expecting to hear a wisecrack or a JazzDad Unique Observation™ and only hear...silence. This will be celebrated raucously at first, but they'll come to their senses and realize that this silence is a double edged sword. Or they'll just celebrate even more. Either or. It's about 50/50.

Taking bets now on how the office will react. All bets will go towards making a life sized bust of his forum avatar to put on front of his department's headquarters.
 
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JazzDad

JazzDad

Just Another Faceless Member
Silver Supporter
216821
 

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
This photo was somehow taken from the future at the @JazzDad Retirement Parade and Community BBQ. Turnout was vibrant and emotions ranged from grief to jubilance.

The crying women are either eLB members in drag or were paid by JazzDad to act heartbroken. Likely both. The woman in the striped dress is in an utter state of shock. She's heard the news, but can't believe it. One of JazzDad's biggest fans and the founder, leader and sole member (not counting her 25 cats) of the Official JazzDad Fan Club. Immediately to her right is an older woman, trying to contain her joy. Finally, to the far left is another older woman, looking at JazzDad with scorn as his motorcade passes and he's blowing kisses to the crowd. She's thinking: "It's about time what wisecracking <CENSORED> retired. If I got another envelope full of photos of funny or strange vehicles (some Photoshopped, some real) sent from him, I was going to get my shotgun and pay him a visit."

Indeed, a day of mixed emotions. However, the food at the BBQ was supposed to be quite good. Following the parade, The Jazz was adorned with a gilded Roto-Ray on a gold neck chain. The day's festivities ended with fireworks, designed, constructed and ignited by JazzDad himself.
 

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
You're a very, very bad boy, Jazz
Your next one is going to be cooked rare and no special sauce for you.
C'mon Pete! At least cook it to medium rare or medium! I realize that the Bubonic Special is tempting to serve, but it's Jazz! The Salmonella Special will suffice. Maybe the Typhoid Deluxe in a pinch. Anything more and we won't ever get to see him sporting his blinged-out Roto Ray! Maybe that'd be for the better; we sure as hell wouldn't want him to become a rapper as a result. Then we'd have to contend with RapMa¢kDaddyHu$tle aka. J-Diddy.

I don't even want to guess as to what's in the special sauce, either. But a good Rat Kebab is always a tasty treat. If you're living post-apocalypse, that is. Probably goes great with Deep Fried Cockroaches served with an artisanal Irradiated Spoiled Glowing Mayo Aioli! Bet you could still serve both to Millennials. All you'd have to say is "artsinal, non-GMO, fair trade, humane, free run, gluten-free rat/cockroach" and they'd devour them. Bonus points if you serve it out of a food truck.
 
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ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
Is that a Roto-Ray or a fidget spinner? I had a full sized Roto-Ray in mind. Forget Flavor Flav and that clock he wears around his neck! J-Diddy and his Roto-Ray chain is where its at.

Problem is that you'll set a trend and all of the rappers will start getting them; causing a Roto-Ray shortage as well as an epidemic of Roto Ray abuse.

You're going to need a breakout hit song in time for the summer. That and a feud. Can't be a rapper without a feud.
 

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
He's more cooked than one of those rat kebobs. Then again have you actually listened to the lyrics from new rap songs? J-Diddy's runs circles around them.

Jazz, rappers don't flash the "Rock On" hand gesture. Better switch genres. Punk would work. Maybe add some gospel to it. IIRC, you've done that before ;). Stick with it.

Pete, better cook up a big batch of Rat-on-a-Stick™ for Jazz. Sewers breed the tastiest rats, I'm told. Looks like he'll need them. Can't have Jazz starving! He'll grow to love them. Just slather them in the special ☣ sauce! It's infectiously delicious!
 
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Pete L.

Silver Supporter
I think the organic free range field rat is the new trend. The special sauce would probably
make old Jazz sick. He strikes me as a city slicker, although he is from Texas. They eat all
kinds of strong stuff down there.
 

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
I suspect that the special sauce would cause epidemics. The CDC and DHS are very interested in its recipe. I think that the Ruskies and Chinese are interested as well.

If the organic free range field rat becomes big, nutria rats will suddenly have a purpose besides target practice. People is Mississippi will make a fortune farming them! We don't have them in Canada IIRC, so we'll find an equivalent. We'll have to settle for boring old sewer, river and field rats. We'll perfect the peameal rat bacon (Canadian rat bacon) as well as maple rat bacon, maple candied rat bacon, maple dip rat donuts and countless other types of maple rat. A lot of the sketchier restaurants in Toronto's Chinatown likely already serve it; especially the one shut down by the Board of Health because rats were seen openly running around the place. It wasn't because the place was a health hazard; they were just raising free range rats and roaches and a few escaped. That place set the trend before it was a trend!
 
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JazzDad

JazzDad

Just Another Faceless Member
Silver Supporter
I wasn't going to spill the beans quite yet, but a subsidiary of JDI, ROES Ltd., is breeding some doozies in the Long Beach area. I may take a job with their company just for the perks (bacon, hams, ribs, etc.)

216987
 
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JazzDad

JazzDad

Just Another Faceless Member
Silver Supporter
OK, back on subject: Bids for the JazzDad name are really slow/ non-existent. Step up for this piece of history.

My 'duty to act' ended with my county's EMS agency on Friday.

The lightbar, siren & controller from the Jazzmobile will be offered up for sale soon. If fact, the whole car (2008 HHR LT) will be on the market shortly. (No need for it with another vehicle and 2 bikes in the household.)
 

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
Are the bar, siren and controller all JDI products? What's the siren/controller? PM me! Of course if I were to buy anything, which is quite tempting, I'd insist on them being autographed or having some sort of JazzDad memorabilia. A copy if that album that you put out would be a nice addition.

I'll pay you 20 Rat Kebabs pending a shipment of Pete's secret sauce. CBSA will probably intercept it and a controlled delivery would ensue as would charges for importing biohazardous materials.
 
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JazzDad

JazzDad

Just Another Faceless Member
Silver Supporter
PM sent w/ one of the songs.

There is currently some interest in the equipment off the JZMB, from the Smithsonian.
 

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
Smithsonian ???? What the hell kind of lights are you running on the JZMB, rotating candles ??
No doubt another fine JDI product cobbled together in a way that would make MacGyver jealous. Probably in some sort of new oddities section at the museum. Then again, old Jazzy D might be confusing the Smithsonian with a travelling carnival. It's hard to tell with him.
 
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JazzDad

JazzDad

Just Another Faceless Member
Silver Supporter
Every day is circus day at JDI. (Ooo, that has a certain ring to it. If I weren't gone so soon, I'd trademark it.)
 

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
Ohhhh.... It's ON. $13.36, 5,000 Vietnamese Dongs, 2,750,000 Zimbabwe Dollars, 7,000 Bangladeshi Rupees and half a box of Hot Pockets!
 

Doyle257

Site Regular
math is a bit rough here...
13.36 + .21(dong) 13.57
heres where it gets real tricky
400,000,000,000,000 Zimbabwe dollars equals about .40US...so we'll call that .01
13.57 + .01 = 13.58
Now, the Bangladeshi's use the Taka, which would convert to $83.47
while the indians use the Rupee, which would convert to $98.73
the Maurtian Rupee wold convert to $205.03
while the Nepalese Rupee would convert to $62.07
the Pakastani Rupee would convert to $50.32
and the Seychellois Rupee would convert to $513.88
and finally the Sri Lanken Rupee would convert to 38.90

Are the Hot Pockets the 15ct Box? the 12? the 6?

Which Filling?

and is it a true McDLT, in the divided styrofoam package, or is it the Big n Tasty?

I need to know what im competing with here...
 
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