For Sale JazzDad (the name)

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
To quote Frankie Goes to Hollywood: "Relax! Don't do it!"

I have some interesting and very rare offers in the works!

 
OP
OP
JazzDad

JazzDad

Just Another Faceless Member
Silver Supporter
The offers so far have been, shall we say, lackluster.
 

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
These offers are more fast food, but they're in the works of being smuggled out of North Korea. So far, the contact has informed me that there's a chain there called McKim's. Menus are simple: one item. Order anything not on the menu, ask for changes or pretend that there was ever anything else on the menu and you get shot on site in the "LabourPlace" in the restaurant.

This is what I know of so far:

A McDMZ: it keeps the North side North and the South side South. Package has barbed wire and small land mines in the middle. Anyone even going near the South side is shot. The North side apparently has a patty consisting of grass, cardboard and an unidentified substance resembling an unusual meat. It sandwiched between two buns cut in the outline of Kim Jong Un.

Toys from a McBeHappyOrBeReEducated Meal. Includes replicas of the toy military equipment as seen on parades, a mini DPRK made AKM knockoff, pamphlets about Imperialist America, a Great General action figure that's Kim Kong Un throwing little missiles at paper targets (strangely, the toy missiles perform better than the real ones), little military uniforms with a notice of conscription and spy gadgets for monitoring Imperialist sympathizers and defectors.

A Big Kim (two unidentifiable meatlike patties, special Sarin sauce, grass, "cheese style paper product", pickled wood, something resembling onion on a 30 year old UN aid bun")

Bird McPieces: appears to be pigeon or crow or something avian. Dodgy even by DPRK standards.

A McGlorious Leader Sized Drinkable Water (a paper cup with ornate images that you'd expect from the DPRK. Has a smiling Kim levitating and giant burgers with red stars on them shooting out of his hands.

These items took several years to collect, given their strict menu policies. Most menu items are just the exact same thing in a slightly different package with bluntly-worded reminders that it's a new item and the consequences of saying that it isn't new and not saying that it's the greatest creation that Kim created next to everything else.
 

ProPatriaNeverPassAFault

Silver Supporter
Ahhh, Mel Brooks. My hero.
Any time I hear a French police siren, I think of President Skroob's line from Spaceballs as Mega Maid is about to self-destruct: "Where the hell are we?! Paris?!"

That and the luggage combination line.

And countless others from every single one of his movies.

However, let's not forget Leslie Nielsen in Dracula: Dead and Loving It. Or Airplane! Or the Naked Gun series. Or Police Squad. Such a brilliant comedic actor.
 
Last edited:

Latest Listings

Top Bottom