This should be the new standard. The current scale isn't working.
Especially w/ "Chronic Pain (in the ass) Patients". They
always say that their pain is a 10, while the little old lady riddled with cancer calmly says that she's a 5 and the CTAS 1-2 industrial trauma case is "sore, but maybe it's a 6 or 7, tops." Oh that and malingerers w/ pain of unknown etiology:
"It's a 10 doc! More like a 15!" Then as they're waiting at the pharmacy (complete with histrionic dramatics and groaning, of course):
"C'mon doc (?)! I'm hurting here (groan)! How much longer (louder groan)??" Once they get their rx. for narcs. and benzos: (to pharmacist/pharm. tech; calmly, as if their pain magically disappeared) "Check out these cool pictures of this bike that I saw. Isn't that cool?! Do you want to see my pictures of my dog wearing sunglasses? (pharm. rolls eyes and tells pt. to leave)" The same pharmacy antics apply to Chronic Pain Pts., only more so.
The worst one (read: most obnoxious) one that I saw did all of the above, then told the pharmacist that his ODSP coverage wouldn't cover one of the rxs and that he'll "pick it up in a month or so." Once he got his shopping bag full of narcs and other controlleds, he
threw the rx. bag full force 20 feet to his enfeebled father because he "couldn't carry them." The father looked like he was in more pain than his idiot son. This type of BS drives me up the wall, and I'm just an
allied healthcare professional. I always love it when they think that I can write rxs. or that I have such a huge influence over the physicians that I can get them to write huge rxs. for narcs and/or benzos on demand.
"Oh, of course I'll get the doctor to stop working on a resuscitation and get him to write you an rx. for 120 Mogadon. Oh wait, I think that you'd be better off with 240. I'll use my mind control and make that happen. I'll make him get you some Supeudol too, just to be on the safe side. I'll make sure it's for the 20mg ones and that you get at least 90. Would you prefer Hydromorph Contin instead? Oh, and how about a shot of Dilaudid too? I'll make it all happen with my Crisis Worker Mind Tricks."