Chuck Norris, FTW

[Turd Ferguson]

You may have seen the video where Van Damme does the splits on the trucks, but yet again, Chuck Norris wins...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30aZiY1hTj4&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

When Alexander Bell invented the telephone, he already had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris.


Feel free to chime in here with your favorite Chuck Norris facts, guys.

 

[CrownVic97]

Google image search is awesome. There's tons of good ones, but I'd spend a week or more on this thread alone posting them all. Here's a small sampling of the Norris fact-dom





[Broken External Image]:http://zombie-apocalypse-headquarte...2013/03/chuck-norris-zombie-apocalypse-11.jpg

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

 

[Michi]

My favorite birthday wishes!

 

[RES347CUE]

This is a funny thread

 

[HILO]

Death once had a near Chuck experience.


Chuck Norris can indeed touch McHammer.


Ghosts sit around camp fires and tell Chuck Norris stories.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

They have proven that there is no theory of evolution. Only a list of animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

There was once a street named after Chuck Norris, but they had to change it because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Almost forgot, the original Van Damme video that inspired Chuck Norris to do this...

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

Jesus can walk on water, but chuck Norris can swim through land


chuck Norris actually died 20 years ago, death just doesn't have the courage to tell him

 

[ClintonPSE]

 

[proudfirefighter]

I love Chuck Norris Memes.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn. He stands on his porch and dares it to grow.

 

[pulltotheright]

Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake........ After 3 days of agonizing pain, the snake finally succumbed and died.

 

[OVERKILL]

nice

 

[MJDNRP-6885]

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.


Chuck Norris and Mr. T once played a game of checkers. When Mr. T won, to get revenge, Chuck Norris invented racism.

 

[OVERKILL]

...

 

[MJDNRP-6885]

:thumbsup:

 

[Turd Ferguson]

When Chuck Norris left home at the age of 12, he looked to his father and said, "Dad, you're the man of the house now."

 

[Jarred J.]

 

[CrownVic97]

Chuck thread revival!!!

 

[Captain4164]

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.


Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.


When Chuck Norris sends you a poke on Facebook it kills you.

 

[OVERKILL]

...

 

[toolman247]

Chuck Norris.... or BACON? | Chuck Norris Jokes | Pinterest

 

[Jarred J.]

heck its been a year  and yall missed chucks bday 4 days ago... LOL

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

Behind Chuck Norris's beard there is no chin,


only another fist.


Chuck Norris does not do push ups, he pushes the world down


Chuck Norris had to pee once. We now know this as The Great Flood. He since then has only gone in smaller amounts, as can be seen throughout history ie Johnstown

 

[Turd Ferguson]

It is said that Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. It's a shame he never cries.

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

 

[JazzDad]

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Chuck Norris is so badass, he has 15 top ten facts.

 

[Phoenix_Rising]

 

[JazzDad]

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Jazz, I'm getting the feeling you're not a Chuck Norris fan.

 

[JazzDad]

Jazz, I'm getting the feeling you're not a Chuck Norris fan.

Not necessarily.  I just can't pass up a good photo.  Like this:

 

[Stampeed Valkyrie]

Either keep the lights off or get a bag and your set... Lol

 

[JazzDad]

 

[Jarred J.]