I got this one from another site, but it's great, IMO. Anyone that's served in an Army (or Air Force...) in one of the Commonwealth Realms will get this one. It's so true that it's not even funny. OK, it's funny because it's so true.
This should be the new standard. The current scale isn't working. Especially w/ "Chronic Pain (in the ass) Patients". They always say that their pain is a 10, while the little old lady riddled with cancer calmly says that she's a 5 and the CTAS 1-2 industrial trauma case is "sore, but maybe it's a 6 or 7, tops." Oh that and malingerers w/ pain of unknown etiology: "It's a 10 doc! More like a 15!" Then as they're waiting at the pharmacy (complete with histrionic dramatics and groaning, of course): "C'mon doc (?)! I'm hurting here (groan)! How much longer (louder groan)??" Once they get their rx. for narcs. and benzos: (to pharmacist/pharm. tech; calmly, as if their pain magically disappeared) "Check out these cool pictures of this bike that I saw. Isn't that cool?! Do you want to see my pictures of my dog wearing sunglasses? (pharm. rolls eyes and tells pt. to leave)" The same pharmacy antics apply to Chronic Pain Pts., only more so.
The worst one (read: most obnoxious) one that I saw did all of the above, then told the pharmacist that his ODSP coverage wouldn't cover one of the rxs and that he'll "pick it up in a month or so." Once he got his shopping bag full of narcs and other controlleds, he threw the rx. bag full force 20 feet to his enfeebled father because he "couldn't carry them." The father looked like he was in more pain than his idiot son. This type of BS drives me up the wall, and I'm just an allied healthcare professional. I always love it when they think that I can write rxs. or that I have such a huge influence over the physicians that I can get them to write huge rxs. for narcs and/or benzos on demand. "Oh, of course I'll get the doctor to stop working on a resuscitation and get him to write you an rx. for 120 Mogadon. Oh wait, I think that you'd be better off with 240. I'll use my mind control and make that happen. I'll make him get you some Supeudol too, just to be on the safe side. I'll make sure it's for the 20mg ones and that you get at least 90. Would you prefer Hydromorph Contin instead? Oh, and how about a shot of Dilaudid too? I'll make it all happen with my Crisis Worker Mind Tricks."
So true that it's not even scary anymore; it's reality. A couple of my buddies in EMS have had times where they gave Narcan to the pt., bring the pt. back, the pt. goes into W/Ds and then tries to rob the Paramedics for their narcs. Of course pt. doesn't realize that Paramedics have radios. Pt. gets busted but pleads w/ LE not to arrest him because he's in W/Ds . Many of the Paramedics here are wearing ballistic or spike vests now. "We save your life. You try to take ours" as one buddy put it. I'm a huge supporter of the Narcan kits for users but they usually administer it wrong or go into W/Ds, use again and then arrive in emerg as a CTAS 1 case w/ PEA shortly after. Little doubt as to which of the "Five Ts" caused it. Or the ubiquitous 'car pulls into emerg parking lot, dumps pt. out and takes off' cases. Always a favourite w/ users. The fentanyl crisis is just making things that much worse. I remember a pt that went flat from a fent OD, was resus'ed, bragged about going flat and surviving and then died a month or two later from a fent OD. It's madness out there. Throw in crystal meth and it's a nightmare.
Love the orderliness of their parking. It's not doing much to break down stereotypes about Germans. That or it's some strange psychedelic art speaking to the universality of policing or maybe just that parked police cars are trippy. Failing that it's some BMW prototype for a police mega-vehicle for cruising the entire Autobahn.
"Ja! Vee have dezigned a vehicle that vill bring law und order to zee entire Autobahn at vunce!"