I may be able to adapt these to our squad...
1. Emergency Response: you aint got no EVOC certificate, You aint going there fast...
2. Command: I'm in charge unless your there,or the chief thinks he wants to be in charge.
3. MAYDAY, yeah we dont do that... your either in the boat or not... in the woods or not...
4. Accountability, who's where? WHY?
5. REHAB: you can do that in the boo boo bus
6. HAZMAT: which way is the blue line... if its standing, good to go, if its flat, call EMA
7. PPE: you got chor pants on right?
8: Drownings, the boat goes in reverse when dragging, side note... the Air boat doesnt have reverse... (Mike)
9. Energized Lines: newest rookie goes first, if he starts dancing, stop... Check for music device first, then proceed if dancing was only caused by Cardi B.
10. Swift Water Rescue: wait till it quits raining and the river will go down.
11. Risk Management: don't do what Johhny Don't does..
12. Overland SAR: drink water, dress appropriately, where bug spray, drink more water, listen for stuff, drink some more water, make sure you came back to where you started and carry your cans on a string for help.
13. LZ Setup, give them what they need and stay away from the spinny thing in the back...
14. Alcohol and drug abuse: thats a waste of money, dont do that...
15. Other matters not described above, try google first.