I am pleased to announce JDI is offering toilet paper at 25 cents per roll. This is fully functional toilet tissue, soft-to-the-touch, and 100% recycled!
I employ hundreds of small, elementary school age children (otherwise roaming the streets due to educational facility closures) to lift man hole covers, climb down and retrieve the slightly soiled tissue. Others, usually junior-high students, hoist the buckets up and place the contents in large wheeled bins. The older children (high school) pull the bins to our plant where we (kind of) clean the paper, dry it, and re-roll it on the (also recycled from landfills) cardboard centers.
You benefit in three ways:
You get inexpensive toilet tissue
Help the environment
Employ kids who would be getting in trouble.
I heard something about giving out memberships to the Jelly Of The Month Club - "It's the gift that keeps giving all year". Didn't you say that you got the "economy version", where it's the little packets of jelly that you could get at restaurants, when you could go to them?
I gave my wife a box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. As usual, I asked her for the cellophane that they came wrapped in. I then caught myself - it's been over 2 years since I've needed that red cellophane for the manufacture of JDI emergency lights.